I'm baaaack

My belief is such that, I don't have the temptation for temptations. Thankfully, I can feel the change internally and externally and I know that from this point on, I will be a different person for it.

Before taking this journey, I had decided to stop drinking, to stop smoking and not to touch any kind of drug unless it was absolutely medically necessary. Because of the lifestyle I had been subjected to through family, friends and work functions, I was still having alcohol here and there, and even after quitting smoking cold turkey would still have one here and there as well. Not only was I lying to the people I love, but I was lying and cheating to myself.

I am so happy to say that I am a non-drinker and a non-smoker. As much as I wanted to quit smoking, I was addicted, and we all know that breaking an addiction is a very hard thing to achieve, especially if/when it becomes a normal habit as well.

When giving-up something, such as smoking, people will tend to find something else to replace it with. Normally, in terms of smoking, the new habit for people usually becomes eating junk. I am lucky enough to be at a time in my life to regain my belief and also take on another 'drug'. I have become addicted to the Church. I have found myself to be restless and agitated if I don't get my 'hit' of Church. The difference between my drug, and other illegal substances used as drugs is that, I haven't and will not lose anything. On the contrary, I will gain so much in the long run, as I have already experienced. And I'm so happy to feel the addiction and to feed it as much as possible.

I talk mainly of smoking, because drinking was never an addiction for me. It was more of a social activity and I wouldn't normally drink unless I was out with family or friends. On the other hand, I would light up a cigarette at home if I was doing nothing with my time. I always knew that doing both of them was never 'me'. It didn't suit me and it didn't suit the lifestyle I wanted to live.

It has been SO easy to give it up completely because, I don't want to ruin my chances of extending my life to eternity at the expense of a useless, tasteless, costly addiction. If anyone asks me HOW I did it, I will share with them the truth. Look to God for help, and he will!

So I had my first full day of Church today. It was great to hear everyone's testimonies and it made me think of my own and how I can see it building. Not building gradually, but building at such a rate that I don't know what will be added in the next 5 minutes. From the day I decided to take an understanding, to the day I read my first scripture. From taking lessons from Elders, and discussions with Melodie. Praying to god and attending Church. I will be proud of myself when the day comes that I can build the courage to stand up there in front of the ward, in front of any ward, and share my testimony.

Afterwards, I attended Fundamentals with two other "Newbies" and a couple of members who stayed around anyway. It was taken by Elder Lord and Elder Modlick, and the topic was based on our reason for being here on Earth. It begun with readings from the Bible in relation to Adam and Eve. The perfect life they lived and the simple rules that were given to them by God in order to Govern. *HOLD THAT THOUGHT*

Question: I just had this thought, and was thinking in regards to sinning and whatnot. Adam and Eve lived in the Garden of Eden, the most perfect place ever known. A comandment set by God was to not eat the forbidden fruit. Obviously, they were banished from the Garden for disobeying God and his rules. But had there of not been a rule set in stone, then no sin would have been committed. Does this make sense? I guess I'm missing a part of the story, there must be a reason as to why they couldn't eat that fruit. Anyone care to explain?

Back to the Fundamental class... We watched a video as well. It had a good point to it. It was about a man- an average man (Lets call him Joe)- who was finding it tough to make ends meet. He owed money to someone in particular and couldn't meet the payment. Instead, he took out a loan from a creditor and signed particular terms set down by the creditor. Joe was happy with what he had done as he had been able to pay off his initial debt and found that the due date fr the current debt was still some time away. Joe was working hard and paying of his debt gradually, but he faced temptations along the way which he took. Namely, it was giving up on his responsibilities of work and to pay of debts, to go out and have fun with friends.

The day came when his debts were due, and he was not able to pay them in full. His assets were seized and he was imprisoned at the request of his creditor. Joe pleaded with the creditor for mercy, however, the creditor did not budge.

Fortunately, another creditor came to his aid and paid of Joe's debts for him and had set out new, achievable terms for Joe to abide by.

There were a lot of messages to take from this short video:
1/ Firstly, Joe needed help, and he recognised that. Instead of arranging an agreement with the person he was in debt to, he borrowed money as a 'quick fix'. There are no quick fixes when it comes to finances, losing weight or finding faith. All things are achievable if you're willing to put in a bit of elbow grease and hard work and make things work.

2/ Furthermore, people with beliefs and faith, we are already in debt. We are in debt to our creditor (Our Heavenly Father) who gave his son for the greatest sacrifice for all man-kind. The terms set by the Heavenly Father were simple. "Be like me". Live life full of purpose. This request is not so difficult, so long as you have that level of faith in order to resist the temptations and peer-pressure around us. Immediately, we have shown our weaknesses for giving in and being the complete opposite to the Heavenly Father.

3/ Had I of watched this video 3 weeks ago, not knowing what I know now, I would have thought very differently about it all. I would have seen the creditors as greedy and picking on the 'little guy'. But, the creditor was there to help, and Joe had agreed to the terms. He was not forced into them. Because Joe had failed to meet his payments and could not pay the debt on the due day, then, the creditor was out of pocket. This to me, isn't justice. And, although Joe pleaded for mercy, he had no case to present for it was his own actions that had decided the outcome.

I am no longer faced with temptations because, that of which we class as temptation, I don't see as temptation. What I see as temptation now, is God, Jesus, the gospel and eternal life. Are they not tempting? Yes, they are! And, with all my strength, I purposely give into them to accept them all into my life and into my heart.

Finally, we had the Priesthood meeting. One man taught of Ordinance (spelling?)- giving blessings to those who are sick. It was interesting, but not much to take away. It was just good to be sitting there in a smaller group getting to know other's and see how the session would work.
What I DID think about was, what you say Vs. Intent. Two guys were role playing the blessing given for sickness and they didn't know the words verbatim. I thought about my prayers and how 'confusing' they sound in my head. Jumping from one topic to another, and back again. Yes, the words are not always so clear, but I'm sure it's the intent that is more important. People cn pray, and get the words 100% correct, but fail in the intentions of prayer. I find that though I'm still learning, I know I'm praying with sincere intent.

I didn't want today to end.