General Conference

October 10th and 11th, 2009
Chapel, Harbord Ward
36 pages of notes

It scares me to think of what Melodie had said to me the week before last. "Pray for General Conference. Pray, and ask of what you want to be told". I did this for three nights straight as new things came to me. Throughout the 2 days of watching, I felt like General Conference had been put on for me, and me only

There was such a build up to this weekend from many different sources. Firstly, from my own curiosity and wanting to know what General Conference was about. Then, from the Missionaries from what they said during the lessons. Finally, from my Wife as she had watched half of it live the week before.

And, so it begins...

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DAY ONE
General Conference was to kick off at 1:15pm on Saturday 10th, October, 2009. I was keen to get there early as not only was Harbord going to be at the Chapel, but so too were Manly and Greenwhich Wards. I wanted to get a good seat, so that I could take it all in without any distractions. When I arrived, I saw Gabrielle, Chelsea's Husband cleaning the glass windows as the entrance. I said "G'day" to him, asked about Chelsea then had a quick look around. The time was about 12:55pm and there was NO ONE there. I used the next 10 or so minutes to help Gabe with the windows and what not.
The following ten minutes was used to find my seat, get comfortable and say a prayer to kick off the session. As I finished off, I felt a hand on my shoulder and turned around to see Brother Mafoa there. We had a quick chat about the lesson earlier in the week and he gave me a quick insight of what to expect over the next two days.
People slowly started flowing through the doors, and, although they had set up chairs through the back of the Chapel and all the way through the hall, they were not needed for Saturday. Seemed to me that Saturday's session wasn't high up on the 'to do' list. Then again, families may have been watching it from home, together.
The Bishop of the Manly ward stood before us, welcomed us, and said a prayer.

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Introduction
Although I had had a sneaky peek at the Intro during the week on the internet, I was still eager to see the Conference Center in all its glory! The feelings I felt on Wednesday when I saw it still hit home strongly when I watched it again on Saturday. The shear size of the Center, the people that fill it and the music protruding from its tall pipes and number of mouths were something to gaze at it total awe.
If there were a manual on 'how to conduct a Conference' then, there's proof that the Mormons would have written it.
I can picture it as clear as day in my head. What stands out to me first and foremost is the peace within the Center. Yes, I say that a lot. But the peace is evidence in itself of the faith and belief that not only you guys hold, but so do I! The blue backdrop, the hundred (or more) pipes reaching for the sky, the Choir sitting and standing in sync and dressed in uniform. The flowers delicately placed throughout the Center. The men and women sitting whom looked of high importance. And, Finally, the mass crown that filled each and every seat, not only in the Center itself, but also our Chapel and Chapels around the World.
Henry Eyring was to conduct the first session and he gave a brief overview of the coming talks. John M. Madson (of the Seventy) had said the opening prayer. From that moment, I knew, from the emotion leaving his mouth that this was going to be an enlightening weekend.

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Thomas S. Monson (Opening)
We desire that as many members as possible have an opportunity to attend the temple without having to travel inordinate distances.

I have watched a view videos of Thomas S. Monson from lds.org and have recognized the sincerity and love of this man.
Watching him open the Conference, I felt the same. I could feel his sincerity as he stared down the camera upon the silent Chapel.
Some good information came from the President, such as the construction of new temples, 16 of which are under construction, along with another 5 to be built in the near future.
He also said that, due to the growth of the Church and the Temples themselves, 83% of LDS members live within 200 miles of a Temple. I'm no mathematician, but they're some decent numbers!
He then praised the work of the Missionaries around the World, and have thanks for their efforts, as well as welcoming new members and to ensure current members do the same, and to be-friend the new converts.
However, I know the member did not need to be told this. As a new (un-baptized) convert, I felt the friendships and warmth within the Church.

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Elder Richard Scott (of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles)
By careful practice, through the application of correct principles, and by being sensative to the feelings that come, you will gain spiritual guidance.

This man, for me, started off the session very well. He was direct, to the point, sincere, humble and emotional. You could feel the feelings he felt when he spoke.
He addressed the Conference with authority and self assurance which definitely helped in his favor considering the topic- TO ACQUIRE SPIRITUAL GUIDANCE.

Firstly, he was to speak to us of communication and how we can better ourselves. He mentioned that he, personally, does not leave his bed until he has bowed before the Lord. This simple method of communication seemed to be a mutual topic amongst all those who addressed the conference.

He later spoke of personal inspiration. The use of personal inspiration to seek our own answers, and to let our personal inspiration to guide us through tough decisions. What I took from this was that, and I am guilty of this too, though when people (not all) pray, they pray looking for answers. This is their first form of seeking an answer- to turn to the Lord.
I think of my younger days when I would have a difficult Maths question, or when I didn't understand a particular word. Without attempting to figure it out myself, I would go to my Mother of Father, Brother or Sister and ask them to explain it to me. Sometimes they would, however, in most cases they would guide me to another place where I could find the help needed to figure it out- such as a dictionary for a tough word. They would not give me the answer, but they gave me the answer to find the answer... If that makes sense?
Had they of just given the end answer whenever I asked for help, then I would not have learned a valuable lesson. This works in the same way with prayer and communication between us as beings and our Heavenly Father. To pray for an answer, and only an answer is weak, and it shows that we are too dependant on our Heavenly Father (Not to say we should not be dependent) but we should also be able to find that personal inspiration first.

INSPIRATION ------------------> POWER

Elder Scott went on with his talk and came to something which made my ears prick up just a little. It was something I had been thinking of all week. Intention. As you know, during the priesthood meeting last week at Church, we went through giving a blessing for health. Two guys were demonstrating, as well as learning for themselves. Understandably, most things in the Church are said verbatim for a reason. However, if you look at a simple blessing, one person may say the words verbatim, but with no intent. On the other hand, another person may switch words and come out with the same meaning, but have a greater level of intent. Pure intent and sincerity is most important within the Church as well as our day-to-day lives in how we live, our profession and so on. Elder Scott gave an example of him visiting a Ward in Spain(?). The Bishop who was giving the lesson at the time struggled to convey the point from the book of which he was reading. However, when he took the book away, used his faith, sincerity and pure intention, he filled the room with the Spirit, and all was learned through that. Opposing that example was when he returned to his own Ward, the gentleman giving the lesson at the time, used the book and his knowledge to "show-off" his intelligence. He did not use it to teach or to inspire, but to put himself above the others. An excellent example of having no intent.
If I could think of an example in my life, it would be of myself and my Wife (As they usually are...) and our professions. Melodie is one who can show pure intent when she is doing what she is doing. Her professions, or her forte, is musical theater. To this day, I still get tingles down my spine when I watch her perform, because I can hear/see the happiness, joy and PURE INTENTION of what she is doing. Sure, she may come out after a show saying "I could have done better" but she has not once ever come out saying "I didn't give it my all". On the other hand, put her in a retail store, or behind a desk, and you'll never hear the end of the complaints. not only that, but her 'service' to others won't be as high as if she were servicing them with her voice from a stage, because there is no real intent behind it.
I am the same in the sense that, when I am personal training someone or a group, I will literally give it my all. All of my enthusiasm and excitement is driven into that one person for an hour, AND I LOVE IT! Better yet, the people around me can see that I love it because I show my pure intent. Put me behind a desk, on a telephone, and I will sit there with the same mono-tone voice saying the same thing to customers with no enthusiasm and no intent.

"You can find guidance when you least expect it"- A statement made not only by Elder Scott, but by so many people I have encountered within the Church. This is what I used to mistake as being purely coincidental, or, luck. When something out of the ordinary, or something good happened to me, I would look at it as being of good luck, or being in the right place, at the right time. I never acknowledged the higher powers that would guide me from a far. One thing leading to another, which led to another. In order to recognize and acknowledge the powers from above, you need to have a clear mind. As Elder Scott had said, "Strong emotions can block the Spirit". Hatred on the mind, or despise in the heart can deter the YOU AWAY FROM THE SPIRIT. The Spirit will never leave your side, but you can leave the spirit. I do, still, have my moments of depression, or general anger. These are things that I try to control, but considering the circumstances, I find it very difficult. However, after time has passed, I sit, and I recollect my thoughts and I think of how good everything is. How well my health is, as well as that of my family and friends. How good it is to be loved by my Wife, and how good it is to return that love. How good it is to believe. It is only a matter of time until I can control my emotions, befriend the spirit and accept the guidance, even when I least expect it. (Do I ramble???...... Nahhhhh)

One temptation that Elder Scott spoke of was pornography. The most DAMNING tool of the devil. Being a male that has entered and passed puberty, I can say that yes, I have viewed pornography. However, after having Elder Richard Scott stare me in the eyes, and tell of the damage it has done to the Temple and to the Spirit of those in the viewings, or the damage that has occurred to my own Spirit and that of Melodie's, I can safely say that that is a thing of the past. Only 3 nights ago, I learned the 10 commandments. "Thou shalt not watch pornography" was NOT one of those things. I guess the 10 commandments is more of an "umbrella" over all the other rules, and sins, that are really there.
In regards to addiction (Not just for pornography), he gave some advice such as finding a quiet place and PRAY!

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Vicki Matsumori (Second Counselor in the Primary Presidency)
We can help others become more familiar with the promptings of the Spirit when we share our testimony of the influence of the Holy Ghost in our lives.

Everything happens for a reason, and we are guided by the Spirit of the Holy Ghost.

Vicki Matsumori explains her feelings and her experiences with the Baptism and receiving the gift of the Holy Ghost. As an 8-year-old, she was the first of her family to join the Church. She expected to feel a lot more when brought up out of the water, but only felt 'dripping wet'. She said that it wasn't until the next day, while hearing of a man's testimony, that she felt "A flood of warmth overcome me". I too have felt that warmth from listening to people's own testimonies, whether it be from an elderly lady, a young man, or a very young girl. As people share their beliefs with me and their testimonies, I hang off the end of each and every syllable.

This got me thinking. I know I was Baptized into another Church at a young age, and I'm yet to 'convert' officially. In the notebook I took to G.C. I wrote:
I feel a lot of happiness, joy and peace day-to-day. Is that the Holy Spirit inviting itself to me? Or, have I already invited it into my heart?
Tough questions to answer, but the only way to know is to enter through the Gate and receive the gift through Baptism. That way, I'll know what I have received and what I have.

Vicki also explained surrounding yourself with the right Environment to let the Spirit flourish. I believe I have done a 'job well-done' in regards to this. My environment has changed dramatically in the past few weeks where, previously, I would feel nothing walking into ANY Church. Now, I cannot get enough of the place, nor can I get enough of the members and what they have to say.

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Elder L. Whitney Clayton (of the Seventy)
Burdens provide opportunities to practice virtues and contribute to eventual perfection.

I feel that I am at a stage in my life (ALREADY!) where burdens are slowly creeping up and attaching themselves to me without me knowing. Each one that attaches itself slowly keeps me back from being my true self, and living how I believe life should be lived.

To know that Elder Clayton would be talking on a topic that I prayed about was quite scary, but, so very exciting!

He began his talk with the emotional, as well as the physical burdens that are placed on us in today's modern World. They can be worrisome, oppressive, and exhausting. The three sources, generally, of where burdens come from are:
1/ The World in which we live (disease and illness, natural disasters, death)
2/ Imposed by others (addiction, abuse, crime, gossip)
3/ Through our own ways of Sin (remorse and pain- disobeying and failing the Commandments)

The burdens, as Elder Clayton so delicately put it, come from the plan of our Heavenly Father to allow us to grow and progress through our unique experiences that prepares us to return to him. The burdens we experience are rarely life-long burdens. Many that come from the main three sources are short-term in regards to the length of our lives here on Earth. We need to be able to "Carry burdens well, no matter how long they last". Whether they be physical, financial or spiritual, we grow from dealing with these burdens and overcoming them with our own personal inspiration, as well as help and guidance from our Heavenly Father.

However, life-long burdens can be a blessing in disguise. "Work is a continual burden, but, a continual blessing". Not only do we have something active to do during our days, not only are we earning a living to keep clothes on our back, food on the table and a roof over our heads, but, we are also constantly learning each day we go to work.
A physical life-long burden, for example, can also be a blessing, as it has the power to allow an individual with a life-long physical burden to overcome it and grow beyond our own imagination.

At first, it was difficult to see, and still is at times- the burden of being separated from the one I love so much. God, Heavenly Father, how could you let this happen? Why would you split us so soon after our marriage?
Had Melodie and I not have physically separated, then I could not say with 100% certainty that I would have embarked upon this journey. If I had not have embarked upon this journey, then I would never have grown as much as I have in the past weeks. And, I would not have released my Spiritual Potential.
God guided Melodie and I to the decision we made. We didn't base this decision on religion, or beliefs, but God knew that this would happen... (Secretly, I think Mel knew too).

Yes, separation is a burden, more than any other burden I have encountered in my life, whether it be through my family, through finances, or anything else. However, I have had the pleasure and help from my loving Wife to help bare that burden. And thats what it comes down to. Helping each other with burdens so that the final outcome, when all burdens are minimized, is a strong, loving relationship between husband and wife and Heavenly Father.

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Brother Russell T. Osguthorpe (President of Sunday School)
We teach key doctrine, invite learners to do the work God has for them, and then promise that blessings will surely come.

I didn't get much out of this talk QUANTITY wise, instead, I got the quality

To teach the gospel is to save lives/spirits.

When I first decided to embark on this Spiritual Journey, I asked for the help of a friend, Paul, to teach me a bit of what he knows. He was kind enough to give up his time, as well as another guy Isaac, to come around and share with me their beliefs, their thoughts and what the Church stood for.
What I found helped a lot was that it was 3 guys, of similar age, sitting around, eating pizza and sharing experiences. They came to my home without their Bibles, without their formal dress and they spoke to me as mates.

Brother Osguthorpe quoted something said by President Monson:
"The goal of Gospel teaching . . . is not to pour information into the minds of class members . . . The aim is to inspire the individual to think about, feel about, and then do something about living gospel principles" (1970 Oct G.C.)

Isaac and Paul had hit the nail on the head. They had intrigued me, and inspired me. They did not read verse after verse of meaningless balony. Instead, I took the inspiration and read that balony with myself and with Melodie. I soon came to realize that it was not balony. In fact, they held some of the most deepest messages I had ever read.

All teachers are messengers from God.


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Elder David Bednar (Quorum of the Twelve Apostles)
We can become more diligent and concerned at home as we are more faithful in learning, living, and loving the restored gospel of Jesus Christ.

My favorite speaker in terms of bringing in some light-hearted humor to the emotional conference. He definitely did not lose the focus and concentration of those who were laughing. Diligence and Concern in the home was most definitely a topic of which I had been hoping would be talked about. Now, I didn't necessarily pray for 'Diligence and Concern', in fact, I didn't even know what Elder Bednar would be speaking of exactly when the topic came up.

1/ Express Love And Show It
Elder Bednar begun with an amusing story of a particular man, baring his testimony in his Ward. This man spoke of his beliefs, and faith. At the end of his testimony, he took a quick moment to express his Love for his Wife. This was shared in front of his Wife, his children, the Bishop, members of the Ward as well as the visitors. Some would think this was sweet and brave. However, Elder Bednar brought up this story because this particular man didn't express these feelings at home- in the privacy of the family- which is the most important place to express it.
Not only is it to be within the privacy of a home, or within the intimacy of a couple, but it is to be sincere and frequent. When does the time come that saying "I love you" becomes a bad thing? Never! I never get tired of hearing how much I am loved. And, I know that I do get a bit anxious when I do not hear it enough. It can seem a bit repetitive and monotonous for the person saying it. For example, someone might say it so often that they feel the words 'I love you' are losing their effect. Thus, sincerity plays a large part. If someone was to tell me they loved me on the hour, every hour for a year, it would not bore nor tire me, unless it was said without sincerity. Say it, mean it, show it. Never assume that you know how the other one feels, because as I learned from a friend of mine- "When you 'assume', you make an ASS of YOU n ME"
I know and I believe (and I hope I have some back up), that I am one that will not let a day pass without telling my soulmate how much love I have for her. I know, that she knows that I love her. I know that. But if I don't say it on one day, then I have lost out on that day to express my love.

2/ Bare Testimony and Live It
A Testimony is something that still confuses me to this day. I know that through a testimony, you are testifying your beliefs and faith. That makes sense to me. And, that everyone who begins, and continues, a journey such as this will have a Testimony, positive or negative. Mine is only just starting out, but I feel as though it is flourishing!
I have tried to bare my Testimony with those around me (not forceful- but what I have learned and what I believe). In the beginning, people were a little hesitant due to their beliefs/faith/religion, but I have found them to open up a little more and hear of my journey. To see what I have learned and how I have changed<------- That word is what leads me to the next part. Living your Testimony. I have changed so much in the past few weeks for the better, and I have done this through belief of the atonement, belief in Our Heavenly Father and Our Savior, Jesus Christ, belief in the Holy Ghost and belief in eternal life. These are just a few. But, because I no longer drink, does that make me a bad person? Because I no longer smoke, does that make me a bad person? Because I no longer swear (as much...) does that make me a bad person? No, of course not. Now, doing those things never made me a 'bad person' as such, but it wasn't who I am. It wasn't the kid I grew up as, and it wasn't what I was taught to be right. It was just sociable habit. I have refound my social skills, I guess you could say, through being able to socialise without a drink or cigarette in my hand, and without the need to swear to explain a story. Errrr.... Well, I guess that IS my Testimony. And, yes, I am living it! 3/ Be Consistent Consistency shows the strength and true character of a person and their spirit. It's all good and well to say I'm 'gunna' do this, or I'm gunna do that. If you say it, stick to it! Bring that consistency into your lives and be the person you are. I know that we (Melodie and I) have been so consistent in our nightly prayers and scripture readings together, and that has brought us closer than any 'physical closeness' could bring us. We are able to take some of the strongest messages we have read, and interpret them by how we feel. This consistency, I know, will continue well into the future when we one day have a family of our own. I have day-dreamed at work recently about what that would be like. To sit, after dinner, around a table as a family, with our children, and to read a scripture and get all points of view- whether it be from a child, a teen, or as a parent. If my children learn nothing in a day at school, then I can have security in knowing that they will learn more from one scripture reading at night, than 8 hours at school (you know what I mean?). As everything does, to me, it comes down to one's own intentions. I could have gone into this journey and lied by saying I found my beliefs in order to make people happy. But, going into it with the wrong intentions would have led to me not continuing with this journey. I am consistent, and I have every intention of keeping it that way!! The two main concepts taken from this can be applied to each and every relationship, whether with our Heavenly Father, our spouse, family or friends. It's the concept of communication and love. =============================================

President Dieter F. Uchtdorf (Second Counselor in the First Presidency)
Love is the measure of our faith, the inspiration for our obedience, and the true altitude of our decipleship.

What we love determines what we seek.
What we seek determines what we think and do.
What we think and do determines what who we are.

I believe I have procrastinated in continuing this blog for a particular reason. Today was an extremely hot day. I used my time to head to my place of work (which was closed) but sat there in silence re reading what I had written during General Conference. I knew I was going to start writing again, so i started with where I had left off.

What do I love? I love my wife, Melodie.

What do I seek? An understanding of God, Jesus Christ, the ultimate sacrifice for man-kind and the one thing that Melodie holds dearer to her heart than me.

What do I think and do? I constantly think of the Church of Jesus Christ. The origins, then atonement, the resurrection of Christ. More to the point, I think about how I can better myself each and every day to become more Christ Like.

Who am I? I am the man who lost his way through adolescence. I am the man who is now making sure he is doing right by others. Family or stangers... I am a man who gets so disappointed in myself when I slip up. I am just a man.

Those three lines spoken by President Dieter are a very simple way to bring myself back to reality and to find out who I really am. What am I doing? Am I following the gospel as well as I can? Or am I already becoming complacent?

SO, what attributes brings us closer to God than another person?
Love in the Heart/Mind/Spirit:
First and foremost, the one attribute that will bring us closer to God is probably one of the most difficult to achieve. It is easy to say and easy to portray, but it is extremely difficult to sincerely love. It is easy to love an object, a smell a sound or a taste. We can identify these things to our feelings of love because of how we feel when we see, smell, taste a certain object.
However, President Dieter was not speaking of love for a particular meal, song or flower. Instead, it was love for Jesus. Love for God's Kingdom on Earth. Love for the gospel. Love for our family. Love for our friends. These are the things that test our true love. It is impossible for one to feel love for someone or something that does not create that inner feeling of peace and security. To have an attribute of Love in not only the Heart, but the Mind AND Spirit is an attribute that not every single person can have. I have peace and security knowing that the Love in my Heart, Mind and Spirit is true and sincere. Love for the Gospel, Love for the Church, Love for my Wife.
Love is what brought Melodie and I together. It created that friendship and that special bond. It gave us something that we could never experience with anybody else. Love bonds and repairs any slight disagreements or rifts that we have

A true deciple is one that keeps his or her word to the commandments:
Whether it's through the covenant made through Baptism, keeping your word to the commandments of living in a way of righteousness through the Words of Wisdom, it's important to not disregard any of these facets intentionally.
I think this is one attribut that I have taken on willingly, and have conciously made an effort to change my ways. I never intentionally broke commandments or Word of Wisdom in the past, but I wasn't necessarily aware of them at the time. I'm proud of the changes I have made recently to live a more pure lifestyle. Not only that, but to not feel any guilt about my life as I am not breaking the commandments- which are really just common society rules.
I have found myself to not worry about what the current music artists are doing with their lives, not too fussed about my sport heroes and what they're doing with themselves. But, I do find myself thinking of God, reading of God and talking to God. Wait... What are the first 2 commandments? ;)
There are too many people- yes, even withing Church of LDS- that intentionally break the commandments. Luckily, when it comes to the Church of LDS, I find that the members are much more aware of their actions and are more willing to repent and change their ways. Unfortunately, for those outside of the Church, they do not have that extra power pulling them back to the path of righteousness. It's sad to see people slip.
I know of at least one person who has said to me, "Mike, I am a Christian. I don't need to go to Church. I pray and I think I live my life pretty well."
This person was breaking commandments by not following the commandments to its fullest. I don't think that is a true image of decipleship. To say you believe in something, but to not follow through is a lie.
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